Matthew 18:21-35
September 13, 2026
Sermon preached by Rev. Donald Ng at Lakeshore Avenue Baptist Church, Oakland, CA.
When I answered the call to become a minister, many of my friends asked me what is the extent of my forgiveness. I would say, “Jesus said forgive seventy times seven.” That would not end their questioning. Then they asked, “What if your daughter was murdered or raped by someone?” Would you forgive that person? I suspect that these cynics were more interested on what their answers might be than what mine is.
Forgiving someone who hurt you is found at the very heart of the meaning of being a Christian. But in our world, forgiveness is often viewed as being too soft-hearted. Avenging wrongdoings is getting even. Punishing the offender is repayment to those who were harmed as well as society’s way of settling a score. But true reconciliation in our world can’t be attained when we haven’t first forgiven what hurt us.
Peter’s Question
Peter’s famous question about forgiveness is paired with Jesus’ equally famous response. Peter’s question was about another member of the church. Jesus replying to Peter tells a story. There was a debt or sin. The servant owes an outrageous sum that he has no chance of repaying. Just a reminder, a talent is one year’s salary, but in this story, this servant owed 10,000 talents! So, when the servant obviously can’t pay his debt, the lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions to pay the debt.
The servant asked for mercy, patience from the lord, and a promise to pay back. At this point, the lord had pity for the servant, released him from his debt, and forgave him. This could have been a good ending to this story. But there’s more.
Jesus said that this same servant having received forgiveness goes and found one of his fellow slaves and demand repayment of 100 talents. A small debt in comparison to 10,000 talents. But when this servant can’t pay back his debt, the one who had his enormous debt forgiven wouldn’t offer the same mercy, but even resorted to violence of seizing him by the throat, saying, “Pay me back!” This unforgiving servant wouldn’t hear the plea for patience and grace, threw his fellowservant in prison.
When we find it difficult if not possible to pay off our monthly bills, we would want the bank or the debt collector to have mercy and patient with us. We too, don’t want the unforgiving servantwho may be the bill collector or the credit card collector or the IRS knocking on our door. Lord, have mercy!
Notice that it was the other fellow slaves or servants who noticed this gross picture of cruelty reported the unforgiving servant to the lord. The lord called this servant back to meet him and called him, “a wicked slave!” The lord said, “I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?”
Forgiveness in the World
“How often should we forgive” is a question that all of us have asked. It speaks to our relationship with ourselves, with those we love, with those we hardly know or do not know, with God, with our enemies, and with our faith community, namely Lakeshore Avenue church.
For me, God forbid, if anything horrible were to happen to members of our family and particularly to our 6 grandchildren, would I be able to forgive? Forgiveness weighs heavily on people of faith like us because we seek to live in a way that is faithful to Jesus’ teaching and life.
Last Friday was the 25th anniversary of 9/11. We took revenge against those whom we thought were our enemies and went to war. In addition to the 3000 who died in the US, another 7000 American service men and women died at war. There were almost 1 million Iraqis and Afghans who perished too. Can we forgive those who attacked us on 9/11?
Jesus speaks to the necessity of forgiveness because he knows the effects of unforgiveness has on us and our communities. There are so many situations in our society, in the world, in our churches, in our families, and in our workplaces that, when not dealt with, can sow seeds of bitterness and fester into deep, painful wounds.
There are often times when we don’t really want to forgive someone or ask for forgiveness when we know we should. One reason is because we want revenge; simply to get back at someone. It’s like reversing the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as they have done to you!” We resist forgiving another because we think the other person needs to ask first. We want to put conditions in place before forgiving. It may be your pride or maybe your own sense of how God has or hasn’t forgiven you.
The servant in this story whose debt has been forgiven was unwilling to forgive another. He had no sense in his heart or mind of generosity and graciousness shown to him.
What Is Forgiveness
Forgiveness means to release, to let go of the other. Forgiveness is not denying the hurt. When we minimize what has happened to us, gloss over it, tell ourselves that it was not really that bad, we cannot really forgive. Forgiveness is only possible when we acknowledge the negative impact of another person’s actions or attitudes in our lives.
When children who has been abused by parents can acknowledge what their parents did, will forgiveness begin. When a spouse who has been abused by her/his spouse can acknowledge what he or she did, will forgiveness begin.
Forgiveness is not an excuse for unjust behavior, and to forgive is not necessarily to forget. We can say, “I can forgive you but I can never forget.” We know that there are countless events and situations that we should never forget: the Holocaust, slavery especially in our country, ethnic cleansing, 9/11, exploitation of children and women, mistreatment and racism against people of color, infidelity of a spouse, a lie told that turned your life upside down, abuse and violence, betrayal, and we can go on and on.
Even in the sight of these horrible situations that we, humans can do to other humans, we can begin to seek forgiveness but we would be unable to forget because if we do, we would run the risk of such human atrocities happening again.
The often, told story of a prisoner-of-war who asked another, “Have you forgiven your captors yet?”
“I will never do that,” the second one answered.
“Then they still have you in prison, don’t they?” the first replied.
Rabbi Harold Kushner tells another story.
A woman in my congregation comes to see me. She is a single mother, divorced, working to support herself and three children. She says to me, “Since my husband walked out on us, every month is a struggle to pay our bills. I have to tell my kids we have no money to go to the movies, while he is living it up with his new wife in another state. How can you tell me to forgive him?
I answer her, “I’m not asking you to forgive him because what he did was acceptable. It wasn’t; it was mean and selfish. I’m asking you to forgive because he doesn’t deserve the power to live in your head and turn you into a bitter angry woman. I’d like to see him out of your life emotionally as completely as he is out of it physically, but you keep holding on to him. You’re not hurting him by holding on to that resentment but you’re hurting yourself.”
Are there things in your life that are holding you back from being whole, loving, hopeful, and future-seeking again? Can you forgive someone even when that person might not deserve it so that you may be released from this bitterness to live a fuller life again? When you look in a mirror, is this the person, who is fully forgiven of all your sins and debts in God’s grace and love?
Lakeshore Church
One of the gifts that Lakeshore has is offering forgiveness on behalf of God and the world. When anyone walks through our front doors and join us for worship, you have the strength and ability to welcome them, embrace them, ask for their names and you share yours, invite them back to the Family Room for coffee, invite them to Bible study, and you say, “I hope that you’ll come back next Sunday.”
When we “Pass the Peace” in worship every Sunday, this ritual is a constant reminder that we act to welcome and forgive. While repentance of any wrongdoings is in the sight of God, we welcome to love and forgive because we are all children of God.
In the last verse of our lesson today, God’s forgiveness, it turns out, is conditional. The forgiven must engender forgiveness. The forgiven must forgive others. Verse 35 reads, “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you. If you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” The consequence is that unless we forgive as we have already been forgiven is that we may be “handed over to be tortured.”
We may be uncomfortable with this message in Matthew; but God’s forgiveness, to some extent,depends upon our forgiveness.
Do you know that we actually affirm this every Sunday in our reciting The Lord’s Prayer? Our prayer petitions God to “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” The conditional nature of God’s forgiveness suggested here is highlighted by Matthew at the end of the prayer: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (6:14-15)
If we as individuals can be frozen in our steps to move on because we haven’t acknowledged the wrongdoings that have been done to us, we would remain indefinitely unable to move on with our lives. Even when the offender who may have caused pain and hurting on us but has already passed on that we can’t physically offer forgiveness, especially in those situations, we can still forgive so that we can move on. It’s like the divorced mother who is only hurting herself when she hasn’t forgiven.
The concern here is the life of the church and specifically, Lakeshore and the practices necessary to build up the community of faith. I don’t pretend I know the sins, debts, trespasses that have happened here. Only you do.
But at the heart of a healthy church about to welcome a new pastor to serve side by side with you, forgiving what may have happened and to seek understanding for the unity of the church is expected of you. No former grievances or troubles should impede you from answering God’s call for you to serve as Christ’s church.
Seek forgiveness, offer forgiveness to each other so that in your unity, Lakeshore church continues to be a welcoming and forgiving community of disciples in a world that desperately needs the Good News of Christ Jesus!
Let us pray.
Lord God, teach us to forgive as you have forgiven us. Release us from the burden of carrying unbearable grievances that prevent us from living out our lives of discipleship in the world. Empower us as a church that represents your love in this community to offer wholeness and forgiveness in our troubled society. Create in us a clean heart to love and to forgive. Amen.
Benediction
From Christ, we have learned to forgive.
We have been taught to value every person.
Go in love, and may the grace, mercy, and peace of God abide in you. Amen.